I am so NOT shut down any more! And the feeling is exhilarating. I allow the feelings of joy and worth to flow in my body now. I care more for people in a way that is less self-serving. And I have a deep desire to have as many people as possible experience a new way of being. I love being part of a movement that can truly make a difference. Before People Unlimited, I had stopped dreaming. I had plenty of friends and I had a career I loved. But there was an emptiness in me that said "Is this all there is?"
So in 2009 I decided to change my life. I sold 3/4 of my possessions, including my baby grand piano and took a train from Boston to Phoenix. I went to People Unlimited meetings and started to see a different way for myself.
I never liked groups even though I belonged to many. It seemed a necessary evil because I wanted to be with people, but most groups just magnified people's issues. But with People Unlimited I experienced what being cared for without conditions really felt like. It is freeing to the body. And there is an energy that gets created when people want each other to live. The feeling of being unstoppable starts to drown out the old negative messages that tell you you can’t have the life that you want.
Most of us grew up learning we have limitations and they stop us from creating what our hearts truly want. And the process of "shutting down" only gets deeper the longer we are here. Well I have reversed that process.
I have tried things I never thought I'd try: Like going beyond the pettiness with my family to heal those relationships. Like participating in a fitness contest for women over 60. Like expressing my physical immortality to my friends and accepting they might think I'm crazy.
Feeling so loved and appreciated is at the core of my transformation. I know I was loved and am loved by many people, but it seemed like there was something wrong in feeling my own specialness and uniqueness; something wrong in thinking that my presence here on this planet is important and needed. Maybe that was my Catholic upbringing. Now I know that only from that place of deserving can we be truly present for others.